Heart That Rebels
by chickenaut
Summary: How Renegon Shepard affect all the Normandy's crew because of Tali.
1. Chapter 1

A fourth installment of my silly story, which is it silly in different way, it might be not a silly story at all. A change of pace. I also not intend to make my story in sequential order, so I implored you to read 'Doubt and Confusion' first so this story made any sense at all. This is my attempt to emulate bioware's humor, so it kinda hit and miss. I think it's easier to make a sad story than a humor one but you should be the judge. My Thanks to Skeasel and Sarge 1995 for this story betaread. Thanks to iamatable21156 for enjoyed my story and to Skeasel for reviewing "Doubt and Confusion", though it's rather nonobjective since you are my betareader. I already gave up for any review in the future. At least I'm not ignored. Bioware own my soul through this writing so previous writing apply. So please read!

* * *

**Heart that Rebels**

"Vasir, you don't need to do this."

"All you had to do was walk away."

Those were the two sentences that started the standoff. It was a precarious situation that was initiated by a wounded Asari that held her hostage; a situation that her adversary viewed as a delaying act.

"It's not happening," the man with the gun said. "This is the last chance, because I will throw your half-dead corpse from the top of this penthouse."

"Hah! I just received interesting information about you, Shepard." Vasir panted. "With all the reports about you as a dangerous menace to the galaxy, you never shed a single civilian drop of blood."

Vasir laughed, trying to emphasized what next she wanted to say. "Your threatening act is just...an act, your facade blown, Shepard! A former Spectre with a heart of gold? That's a laugh."

"So? You still won't leave this place with that disc, alive."

Vasir sensed that the cold demeanor of her adversary was just a poor excuse for control. She thought that she needed to up the ante.

"Oh... I dare you to make me to shoot this hostage, Shepard! I'm gonna enjoy this."

"Talk as much as you like, I'm going to end this."

"No, you don't!"

A loud bang, ended the conversation. A bullet burst-ed through the hostage and hit Vasir.

* * *

_D__ays later..._

Worried - Shepard always worried all the time. His mind was full of check lists; his armor, his armament, his supplies, anything. He already checked it all. Even so he was still going through it again because part of him thought that there was always something that he missed. He didn't realize with the hustle and bustle on Normandy's lowest deck that he usually didn't act like that. It was an act that he had developed recently. Now, he was concentrated only on the immediate problem. The biggest of his worries at the moment was the whereabouts of one of other selected mates. He was already accompanied by a blue lady, an Asari with sophisticated wear and intellectual looks. She also had a lot on her mind.

"It's almost the time, where's Tali?" the man said.

"I hope she's okay," the blue lady responded.

A loud military step was coming closer and closer. Another group was approaching them. It was the person Shepard was waiting for. It was Tali. Beside Tali there was someone else. A creature that accompanied her was tall avian with a flair for putting the moves on females. A creature called a Turian, and the Turian man seemed prepared to join to the mission.

"Tali? It's unusual for you to be late. Are you sick? And why did you bring Garrus?" asked the man.

"I think that you should not go in this mission, Shepard. Garrus has volunteered to lead the mission," a strong reply by Tali.

"What? You want me to step down? On whose authority? I'm practically own the ship!"

"You're unfit for duty!"

"And you can say that because…?"

"I'm an engineer. I can see that you have impaired judgment. I believe it's coming from a faulty implant."

Garrus started to feel bad and was trying to console the two persons.

"I know that it's a bit of a stretch, but Tali was just thinking of you."

"Shut up Garrus, and let me do the talking!" said Tali with a tone of anger.

Garrus just raised his hand, a sign that he was trying to back off.

"I can't believe my ears! Are you trying to take over the ship?" An angry Shepard asked.

Garrus tried again to lower the conversation's temperature. "I think you misunderstood."

"Step back, Garrus!" Shepard said, brushing the attempts of the turian off as if Garrus was swatting a dreadnaught with a stick.

Garrus began to regret agreeing to Tali's request, but with her sweet voice and flawless logic, he could not refuse her. Now he just stepped backward slowly as the lover's spat raged on, and the blue lady moved closer to Garrus.

"Do you think that she's jealous of me?" Asked the Asari.

"I don't think so, Liara. It's not about that," Garrus replied. "Do you think Shepard is unfit for duty?"

"I don't know... I think he jealous of you right now. This isn't going to bode well for us," said the Asari.

"And the Shadow Broker," replied the amused Turian.

As the Turian finished his sentences, a desperate Shepard said to Tali: "If you still respect me then you should go back to engineering!"

"But!" Tali protested.

"I say this as your captain. Now go before I throw you in to the brig!"

A high tempered Tali turned her back and walked away from Shepard. She was trying hard to obey her captain's order. Behind her was Shepard with a red look of anger on his face. It made Liara and Garrus uncomfortable. The man then walked to the shuttle, kicking the containers that were in his path, and he screamed at some people to get out of his way.

"Liara! What the hell are you skulking around! Fall in!" Shepard yelled as he entered the shuttle.

"Garrus! You are replacing Tali! Now come!"

_Aww crap!_ Garrus thought, for he knew he would be in the sights of Shepard's misdirected wrath.

* * *

_Another 2 hours passed by._

Normandy's reactor was a steel ball full of cylinders surrounding it, which emitted light and vapor. Tali had always been fascinated by this wonder of human achievement even though it might be not the prettiest. She still felt that the best looking drive core was the old drive core that had been inside another ship of the same name. There still were other things that she could amuse herself with. As an engineer she always found new things to tinker with, looking at things in a new way, a new function that no one ever thought of before.

She could adjust the intensity of the reactor's hum, to make it play a simple quarian song, or she could adjust its lights and make it more visually appealing. But for now, this amusement was just a way to distract herself from what lay ahead. Her first plan to stall Shepard's mission so she could talk with him, failed. Now she prepared for the eventuality of Shepard's wrath. She knew that she needed to be strong, but she also knew she was weak. Her opponent was her lover, and he was already formidable enough without a gun. With just a taunt, he could make his enemies start bolting away with their tail between their legs.

But now she should be aggressive. She should be the one to strike first. What she was doing in reactor room was an activity to fill the time before the showdown. She looked at her omnitool and saw the VI announcement that Shepard's shuttle had docked on the Normandy. She needed to get her point through Shepard's thick headed skull. A _blip_ came from her omnitool.

_At last_, she thought as she looked at her omnitool impatiently. She just needed to go to the lift.

First she asked engineer Daniels to replace her, and reminded her to watch out for engineer Donnelly's antics. Then she went to Normandy's lift, pushed a button and waited. While she waited, she rehearsed what should she say to Shepard. Tali thought that to keep Shepard from getting angry, she needed to employ logic. She didn't know if that would be enough though, but at least it was a start before she tried to improvise.

The lift beeped and the door started to open. As Tali was trying to enter the lift she saw Shepard. _Keelah!_ She thought, a desperate exclamation for Tali as she realized that Shepard was already inside the lift. Her plans were already busted. Shepard was also surprised to see Tali, but he stepped forward anyway. He grabbed Tali's shoulder and pushed Tali outside the lift. In the middle of Normandy's aisle Shepard started to speak.

"We need to talk!"

"Yes we do!" Tali replied.

"What the hell happened to you!"

"It's not about me you should ask, but about yourself!"

"What do you..." Shepard stopped. He realized that their conversation had created a brouhaha between Normandy's crew. He could see Grunt peeking out from his room. Jack was already screaming for them to kept quiet and a lot of Normandy's engineers walked awkwardly and tried to avoid eye contact. He thought he needed to find a better place to talk.

Shepard thought that he must remain disciplined on board his ship. The closest private place was Grunt's and Zaeed's quarters. He deduced that Grunt already was familiar with the situation, and wanted to avoid it, so he would lock his quarter's door and pretended not hear it. The perfect place would be Zaeed's quarters, since he was not aware of all of this.

"Let's go somewhere else." an embarrassed Shepard grabbed Tali's hand, and she had no choice but to follow him.

* * *

_Meanwhile on the same deck..._

Zaeed was looking at a picture on his wall, an anatomically correct Varren and something that all 23rd century human butchers had. Zaeed concentrated on his retirement plan. Cerberus had paid handsomely for just following Shepard. Now he thought that he needed to retire with a bang. A prospect of a boring life in a retirement house scared him.

He already had a list of what he should do after he finished this job, ranging from buying an old and dangerous antique sports car so he could die in ball of fire while racing against law enforcement, to planning an assault on a biggest valuable material storage on Palaven - a Turian's Fort Knox, but with a better defenses.

Right now he was contemplating becoming a Varren tamer and rancher. He thought it would be a balance between dangerous excitement and a chance to became richer. If he died, he died because he fought a dangerous wild beast, but if he survived, he still could fulfill his greed. But before he could earn any credits, he needed to be a licensed Varren rancher. Any responsible rancher that sold their produce needed to know about their animal. So Zaeed was trying to learn it first so he could decide if it would be worth the effort.

He turned on a pad with just one hand while the other hand played with his knife. The pad title was "The Complete Idiot's Guide to become Varren rancher". Right now he was reading a question test from the pad.

"What parts of Varren are poisonous?" asked Zaeed out loud.

He threw couple of knifes at the picture to mark his answers, then looked at the pad again, trying to find out if he was correct. He was happy with what he found. His answer was right on the spot.

"Hah! This is easier than I thought!"

As he amused about himself, his quarter's door opened. Zaeed glanced over and asked: "Shepard?"

"I need this room! I need you out!" replied Shepard hurriedly.

"What the..." Zaeed stopped when he realized that Shepard's hand was holding Tali's. He protested.

"Goddamn it Shepard! You are trying to make this ship into a soap opera!"

"Out! Now!" Shepard yelled.

"Yeah, yeah!"

As Zaeed lazily walked out from his quarters as Shepard and Tali came inside. Zaeed was confused as to what he should do. Then he saw the Krogan named Grunt come out from his room and ask a question.

"What's all this ruckus?"

"Your Battle master there is fucking crazy! He just annexed my room!" a replied a frustrated Zaeed.

"Hah! I already know that from when he kicked me out of the tank."

"I see we are two of a kind."

"Yeah, a kind that always gets screwed by their commander."

"I like you Krogan, but it's a shame since we're neighbors and never talk to each other. Why don't we go look for a place to get a drink?"

"What's the occasion?"

"What's not to celebrate? We just blew up a collector's base! Come on, I'll challenge you!"

"Okay, heh... I never thought that I would crack open my barrel of Ryncol. Wait here."

In a split second Grunt grabbed a barrel of Ryncol and ran toward Zaeed. As this new pair of best friends walked together toward the lift, Grunt asked a question to Zaeed, as he noticed the engineering door.

"Should we invite Jack too?"

"I don't see anything wrong with that, but I hate stairs." Zaeed replied reluctantly.

"I know a way."

Grunt stepped up, his feet just inches from the door's sensor and enough to open the door automatically.

"Hey Bitch!" he screamed.

"What asshole!" Jack screamed from sub-deck.

"You want to join a party?"

"What party?"

"The party you idiot! Drink! Fight! Dance! All that crap!"

"I'm in! Just wait a sec!"

A befuddled Zaeed asked the Krogan a question.

"You two friends?"

"We are not. She's just easier to rattle than a couple Varren in a small cage. If I get bored I always do this," said grunt, and then he screamed at Jack.

"Come on! What's taking you so long? Are you chickening out?"

"Did you finally grow your quad back, after I kicked yours, Krogan?" Jack responded.

"Hah, that's a feisty little one," Grunt said to Zaeed.

Both guys could hear a hurried footsteps on the stairs, and then they saw Jack. Jack was panting and holding her leg as she neared them.

"Where are we going?" she asked.

"I know the place, just follow me." Zaeed replied.

The two man group became a three person group still short of attendance for a party, but Zaeed already had a plan in his head. He should invite everyone he met along way. The more the merrier they said. As the group waited for the lift's door to open, they could see Shepard and Tali arguing about something in Zaeed's room. They could not hear what they said, but the windows gave them a clue.

The lift's door opened and inside was Garrus. Garrus was experiencing the worse day on the job. After he took the full brunt of Shepard's anger, got shot at and buried under the rubble of the shadow's broker desk, he just needed to take a rest.

Right now he was applying some medigel on his hand. He stopped as the lift's door fully opened. He could see a group of characters that should hate each other but they got along together. Garrus needed to ask a question about this new phenomenon.

"What have I missed here? What's happening?"

"Hey Garrus," said Zaeed cordially. "Why don't you bring your sorry ass and join our party?"

Garrus took a moment to think, and then he answered. "Why the hell not? I deserve a stiff drink or two."

"Atta, boy!" replied by a cheerful Zaeed.

* * *

_A moment later on __the __crew deck, port observation room, __K__asumi's quarter__s..__._

Kasumi was a sophisticated woman with sophisticated taste. Her room was full of artistic artifacts, something she enjoyed dearly. She liked to think about the history behind the pieces. Her mind wandered, imagining what people of the past did so that such magnificent creations came to life. She was amazed by what people did, for she knew people of the past had a lot of challenges.

Right now, one of the collections that she enjoyed was a classical asari song. The song was so touching and she started to dance. She was expert on any dance imaginable, ballet, Japanese Odori, Indian folk dance. She thought that this song was perfect for ballet. Her agility would awe others if there was a spectator to watch. After all, her gifts of movement were born from training as a master thief, a job that made her appreciated art in the first place.

Her excitement was suddenly stopped as her room's door opened. She glanced at the door and saw a large group of people with Zaeed leading them. She also could see Jack, Grunt, Garrus, and a bunch of ex-Cerberus crew. She had a feeling that she had been caught in the act of the embarrassing dance she was performing. In the middle of confusion Kasumi questioned Zaeed.

"Zaeed?"

"What's this crap you listening to? Change the music!" Ordered Zaeed.

"What? You can't barge in to my room!"

"New rule by the commander! Any room shouldn't be used for a single person, I just did what I should do in the first place."

"I never heard of this new rule!" Kasumi griped. Then she glanced at Garrus, looking for a real answer. He was the only one that looked sane enough to answer her question.

"Is that true Garrus?"

"Technically? Yes!" Approved Garrus.

"I don't believed it."

"Come on, this is the only place on the ship that has a bar in it." Jack complained.

"Look Jack! What you so-called as a bar is actually a retro fixtures with precious and sought after beverages!" Kasumi argued.

"Whatever! Come on boys! Let's trash the place!" Exclaimed Zaeed.

"Wait! Stop!" Kasumi exasperated.

* * *

_At the same moment, __in __the Normandy's cockpit_…

Joker, the hotshot pilot was at the helm of the Normandy. He was busy doing nothing. All his jobs were already taken care of by an AI named EDI. First he thought that it was a god send, so he could slack more and enjoy a lot of things. No more calculating Normandy's trajectory, navigating through the space, or checking his LADAR. Now he was just bored.

He had already browsed the extranet for everything that he could think of watched news, downloaded a movie, joined a social networking site, and even watched online porn. He wanted to do something, but he could not escape his laziness. He had a moment of inspiration that he could do a more productive job, like tinkering with Normandy's settings or even to try to outsmart his AI, but gave up so he could keep being lazy.

Right now he just wanted to get up and talk to someone. He was tracking where the people were, but his display showed no activity of any kind on the same deck. He was at a loss so he asked a question to his AI.

"EDI, where is everybody?"

"Eighty-three percent of people on board the Normandy were on port observation room." came a stoic and cold answer EDI's blue ball of light.

"Why are they there in the first place?"

"I believed that Mr. Zaeed Massani tried to create an activity that humans called a party."

"What? They do that, and didn't invite me? I need to go there, the party machine is here! EDI take the helm!" Joker said excitedly.

"I'm sorry Jeff. I'm afraid I can't do that," EDI warned.

A sudden sound came from the chair that Joker loved. It was a sound of an automatic safety belt and strapped Joker tight to his seat.

"What are you doing EDI? Come on! You can handle this ship alone!" Joker bemoaned.

"Commander Shepard just installed a new procedure for this kind of eventuality."

"What kind of eventuality?"

"In the event that your work activity dips below 10% on the productivity chart, then the order was to strap you down and recite the long list of your offenses according to Cerberus's rules."

"We are not members of Cerberus anymore!"

"Commander Shepard has just implemented it, due to you I might add. I will start with dates and rules numbered in order and some prerecordings from Miranda to show you how to rectify this situation.

"NOOOOOOOO!"

"Reciting one of your favorite movie lines will not help you help here, Mister Moreau. Now we first start on date..."

* * *

_At the same time on Miranda's office…_

As usual, a workaholic Miranda was still in the office, trying to figure out how to keep Normandy in perfect shape. She loved to work, even neglecting her bed that was installed in her room. She never slept on it but used it as a seat. She usually fell asleep on her work, on the seat or on the table. Right now she was facing a problem was displayed on her computer's monitor.

She only could see a grim prediction that the ship would fall apart without Cerberus funding. If her captain didn't do anything about it immediately then the ship would be just space junk. There was hope though. Shepard had installed a new shadow broker when his mission was accomplished, so they could collect precious information about valuable material, or a deep secret that she could exploit. She started to formulate a plan that she could propose to Shepard.

Her work was interrupted by a loud noise. This loud noise seemed penetrated Miranda's office door, which was unusual for her. The door was specially built to muffle sound. Something big was affecting her door. Curious, Miranda stood up and opened the door. As she looked outside, she could lhear that someone played an energetic music very loud. She could only cover her ear and walk toward the source of the music. It was Kasumi's room. As her ear got used to the sound, she opened the door of Kasumi's room.

What she saw inside was a full orgy of decadence. Everyone was drunk, dancing, and something that even she could not describe. This was an unconstrained party. She thought that Shepard lost control of the Normandy. As she displayed her dismay, Kasumi ran to her.

"Miranda! Do something about it! These unsophisticated brutes are wrecking my room!"

"Where's the captain?" Asked Miranda.

"I don't know!" Then Kasumi glanced in different direction and screamed at a person.

"Hey! Don't touch that! That's more expensive than your weight in eezo! And that's also not a toy!"

Miranda thought that she needed to take control of the ship in the absence of her captain. She could see Zaeed as the architect of all this mess. She knew that because everyone on the room cheered him on as he was trying to out-drink Grunt. As she walked toward Zaeed, Jacob stopped her.

"Hey Miranda!"

"Jacob? You are involved in this too?" Miranda asked, surprised. For her, this attempt just became more problematic than she thought.

"Come on Miranda! Relax, you need it once a while. I know you are a workaholic, but this is getting a bit stale. Commander's not a big fan of celebration, and this is a good chance or last chance we get!" Jacob tried to convince Miranda.

Miranda just shook her head. Her second in command just joined the rebellion. Now she considered downing a strong drink before she made another attempt. She walked toward the bar stool.

"I need a glass of wine. A 2089 Mouton if you have any..."

"We don't serve that kind of fancy drink, Miranda," a familiar voice answered.

She recognized the sound and found that Mordin was the barkeep-the most sane and logical person on board the Normandy. Now she really gave up.

"You know what? Just surprise me Mordin! Bring me your best shot!"

"One red nebula coming right up!" Mordin obliged.

* * *

_In the meantime at Starboard cargo, Zaaed's room as Zaeed came out._

Shepard and Tali were looking each other with passion. It's not passion of love though. It was more like a confrontation about to begin. They looked into each others eyes, each trying to gauge the other's weaknesses. For Shepard, this was the first time he tasted betrayal from the person he loved. All of his adult live was a journey to release his stress by anger,until he met Tali. Now he was confused with what Tali was doing. If he didn't understand something, his emotion flared. If he was trying to solve a problem he plunged through it. His experience and preference dictated he act in such a way.

Tali knew that already. She knew that Shepard was stubborn and thick-headed person. If she needed to get her point across, she needed talk the same way Shepard did. That usually involved a lot of screaming. One thing that Tali also knew was that Shepard could understand reason, as long as she could explain truthfully.

"You know this is not the conduct of a professional at all!" Tali started the conversation.

"Don't tell me about professionalism. You know you started this first!" Shepard replied.

"I did that because you needed help!"

"I do not need help at all! You're just hindering the mission!"

"You're already hindering your own mission!" Tali argued.

"What? In what your delusional mind would make you think that?"

"I saw what you did to Vasir when she was dying! You actually stepped on her wounds every time she tried to speak her last word!"

"What does she have anything to do with this? That bitch, made me shoot that single mother!"

"But the hostage was still alive! That's just guilty talk! Because of that you didn't have a clear mind when you started the last mission!"

"No. That was a sign that I started to slip. I made sure that it will not happen again."

"See! You think that you owe the whole galaxy!"

"May I remind you that the Reapers are already eyeing this galaxy! If I don't do this then who will? The Council? Good luck with that!"

"But you should not be so determined about it!"

"If you were in my shoes, you would be very determined too. You would change! What the hell Tali?"

"Because... Because... I don't... Want you... To end up like my father!" Tali started to cry.

Shepard just stood there and took a deep breath. Now he felt really remorseful. His anger had just made someone he loves cry. He thought he should apologize to Tali, and hugged her.

With a desperate voice Shepard said: "Tali... I'm sorry."

"No... just let me finished first, okay?" Tali tried to subdue her tears and glanced at Shepard.

"I know about your past, and your remorse about it. I know you always wanted to atone for your sins to the point of near suicidally. You always keep your pain and never to share it - just like when lost Kaidan on Virmire. I'm afraid that recent situations will hardened your resolve, just like my father with his feelings about our people. He neglected his loved ones, like me and my mother. He always also had carried a heavy burden that he didn't want to share. I only realized that after it was all too late. He died as a bitter man. You are even in a worse condition than my father. You may even look back to your old self, seeking revenge. Your guilt could become more powerful than before. I just cannot bear to see you fall again."

When Shepard heard this, he hugged Tali very hard.

"You right Tali... I'm just a stupid man that doesn't know what to do with his own emotion. I just don't know..."

"You need me as I really need you. I'm here Shepard... You are not alone. I want you to share with me."

The two lovers hugged each other, like the time in the whole galaxy was not enough for them. With the sounds of their hearts beating only they could hear together accompanied their moment. They could do this for eternity.

This was the first time Shepard finally found peace. His long life only to find his salvation finally at end. That end was in the form of quarian lady named Tali. Tali was very glad that she finally could help the person she loved most. A long ride full of tears, guilt and a feeling of hopeless finally at end. She knew that both of them could face any challenge, either reaper or something else,a bright future would descend on them.

This moment of peace was suddenly disturbed by a shocking sound from the ceiling. They could hear a muffled sounds of breaking and banging. Shepard had had enough of this.

"What the..."

"Just ignore them, will you? I just want to savor the moment." Tali pleaded.

Shepard tried to fulfill Tali's plea, but his mind never ceased thinking that they needed to retire to better place, so he broke the long silence.

"Tali?"

"Yes, Shepard?" Tali replied.

"I didn't know that you had daddy issues." Shepard started to lighten up the mood.

"Says the maniac who tried to avoid psychiatric help." Tali sounded amused. "You are really unromantic Shepard."

"Okay... my bad. Look, what we are doing right now will make our job more difficult. In the future we should do this in private." Shepard apologized.

"I think that this was the last time we will act like this because there are no obstacles between us any longer." Tali said.

"You right…you are absolutely right... why don't we retire to my chambers so we can continue our 'talk'." Shepard suggested.

"Why don't we do more than that? I... I know that you saved some special medigel in your drawer. I also know that... you always wanted to rub my back with it. So..." Tali said it low voice with a little hint of shame.

"You don't have to do that Tali, if you are not healthy enough." Shepard looked concerned.

"I insisted!" Tali assured Shepard.

Shepard just smiled when he heard this. "I love the way you embarrass yourself."

"I'm not!" Tali protested.

"I also love it when you are in denial."

"You are toying with me!"

"Hey, I love it when you pretend to mad at me."

"Keelah..."

Shepard suddenly carried Tali away, opened the door and walked to the Normandy's lift. Shepard stood there and Tali pushed the lift button. As both of them waited in front of the lift, Shepard continued to tease her.

"You know what Tali? I love your accent, your fingers, your hip, your thighs, your calves... did I also mention that I love your feet? Especially your feet, with six little toes..."


	2. Chapter 2

**Epilogue**

_Nine __hours later_…

Shepard felt fresh today, and he also wore a suit, something he only wore recently. This suit had only been worn once and only for business at Bekenstein. He wore it in order to follow Tali's suggestion so he can be a changed man. There was also other thing that he promised to Tali. It was a promise to deal with the implications of what Shepard and Tali did last night with a different attitude. Tali convinced him that even though Shepard knew that the Normandy was in shambles, he needed to take it in different way. It was a hard lesson, but as long as Tali was by his side, he knew he could do it.

"EDI. what's the condition of the ship?" Shepard asked while in the lift.

"The ship perfectly fine commander, though almost the crew are not at their post at this moment." EDI reported.

"And why is that?"

"They are still in port observation room."

"Then I should go there."

"Of course, commander."

The lift stopped. It's door opened. As Shepard walked out, he could smell a terrible stench and loud music. Now Shepard could deduce something was going on. _Is that the sound I heard last night __in __starboard __cargo ?__Those idiots_ _are having a party_ _on my ship! At my expense!_ he said to himself. Then he started to remember his promise, that he needed to endure it. He walked into Kasumi's room. As the door opened, he could see that Garrus and Thane were having a casual conversation with drinks in their hand. They were also seemed to be watching something. Shepard interrupted the conversation.

"I see you both are still half sober."

"Hey, give me some slack Commander, this is the first time I joined a mutiny on a ship." Garrus replied as he glanced to Shepard.

"Right..." Shepard said, and then he glanced at Thane.

"Well sir, you said that I need to come outside and make more beautiful memories. I can't do that if I'm drunk." Thane said with an innocent face.

"Good point. So what are you doing here besides chatting and drinking? Don't you need to go back to your post?" Shepard asked.

"I'm sorry Commander, we actually were admiring how Grunt slept." Garrus answered as he pointed to Grunt sleeping on the floor.

"Hmm... You're right, it's fascinating. This is the first time I've see him sleeping with his eyes closed and not standing." The commander mused.

"He looks cute actually, when he sleeps like that." Thane gave his opinion.

Shepard can't hide his amazement about Thane's statement.

"Okay, glad to hear that you have high confidence about your masculinity, Thane... So who started this... activity?" Shepard asked.

"That would be Zaeed." The Turian answered truthfully.

"Both of you, just go to your posts, and bring Grunt along." Shepard ordered.

"But waking him up is like waking up a hibernating nathak! Do you know how nasty they are." Garrus complained.

"Then you should sneak around and pull his tail. That, or you face my wrath."

"Yes, sir." Thane obliged lazily.

Shepard then walked toward the bar. He hoped he found someone sober enough to still serve some drinks. As he neared the bar stool he called the bartender. Out of nowhere Mordin appeared from under the counter. Shepard was surprised.

"Mordin? You're the barkeep?"

"Yes Commander, I'm the bartender. It's logical choice since I'm expert on all kind of poison. I make sure that crew health is sound and all in order." Mordin answered.

"Order? This room is just a jumble of mess. I can see a crack in that window, a couple of drunkards lying around, and broken furniture and glass. I'm already afraid of what you consider chaos." Shepard said doubtfully.

"Nonsense, according to my statistics on all Omega's bar activity this is actually very mild." Mordin argued.

"This is not Omega's bar, Mordin. I think you went to the wrong place for statistics." Shepard started to shake his head,

"Well Shepard, need to compare it to worst case scenario.." Mordin argued again.

"Where is Zaeed?" Shepard tried to change the topic, since he didn't want to prolong the argument.

"He's over there," Mordin pointed out at the man in the corner.

"Thanks Mordin. Find Gardner and help him clean up the mess and get the crew back on their feet." Shepard ordered.

"Yes Commander." Mordin obliged.

The commander walked to a man that sat on the floor and wallowing in a half state of consciousness. Shepard tried to wake him up by kicking Zaeed's feet.

"Whaaat?" Zaeed woke up suddenly. Then he looked up. He saw the commander. The headache, just vanished. Now he was truly sober. And scared shitless. This was the first time he had actually been scared, the first time in a very long time.

"Zaeed?" Shepard said calmly.

"Yes commander...?"

"I didn't know you had leadership quality in you, Zaeed. You just successfully instigated a full blown revolt on my ship. Do you know how mercs handle this? You should know about that."

"Can we talk about this first, Commander?"

"It's alright Zaeed. I just came here to say that I'm sorry took your quarters. I promise it won't happen again."

Zaeed looked dumbfounded. He had expected the worst from the commander, not the opposite.

"It's all right? Whoa you must have really scored last night, Commander."

"Don't push it Zaeed. Now a word of advice, if you are thinking of doing this again, I will nail your balls on the CIC's wall as a trophy, understood?"

Shepard said, with quite the cheery voice. It was so eerie, it made Shepard look even scarier.

"Fully understood commander, can I... Go to the bathroom? I need to throw up."

"Be my guest."

As Zaeed stood up and ran to men's restroom, Shepard scanned the room. He was looking for Joker. He needed to know if his fail safe procedure worked. After he look intently, he smiled to himself. At least one of his safety procedures worked. Now he wanted to check the cockpit of the Normandy to see if his assumption was right.

He walked outside and toward the lift, but stopped in the middle of aisle. He heard an uproar behind the door of life support room. It was the sound of people arguing. Shepard thought that there should not be anybody in there. He knew the voices behind the door and thought he needed to check it out. He screamed at the occupant through the door.

"Whoever inside this room, come out now!"

The uproar died down. A moment later the door opened. First came out Jacob, his clothing in tatters. He looked slightly sober. He gave a hand gesture that resembled a salute and then came out Miranda. Her condition was even worse than Jacob. Her hair was disordered, she looked very unpleasant, and her dress was a little too revealing. Then Shepard saw something strange, like an optical illusion that existed beside Miranda. Shepard quickly could deduce was it was.

"Kasumi, I know you're in there, your cloak was not set properly."

Then out of the blue, a figure came out of thin air. It was Kasumi. Her attempts to dress quickly failed. The cloak also failed because her body was not as covered as it should be. She was also in bad shape. Shepard took a look at door again, suspicious that it might have one person left in the room.

"It's only three of you?" He asked Jacob.

"No sir, you missed Jack." Jacob replied.

"Jack! Come out!" Shepard yelled.

Jack came outside like a kid that had been ratted out. Her face looked sullen. Of course since Jack's dress was not actually clothing, she was the most normal in the group, as normal as Jack could be. Shepard started to think about what he should do.

"I don't want to know how you all 'swing', I expected that this hasn't affected our job."

"No sir, this is not what you think, we just... We don't know how we ended up in the same room." Jacob answered Shepard's order as de facto leader of the group.

"Oh I know; alcohol, stress, sexual tension, I don't have to be a detective for that. Just curious, is your skin starting to itch, and is it rather dry?"

"Why do you ask that commander?"

"Mordin just confirmed an STD outbreak on Normandy. It's call Varren's scale-itch that's the first symptom." Shepard lied.

The group members looked at each other and started to race to infirmary.

* * *

_Ten __minutes later on Normandy's cockpit_.

As usual, the Normandy's cockpit was still lively and well. There was an argument between man and machine -a man that forgot that he actually talked to machine and a machine that forgot that it was actually a machine. The machine was still reciting the Cerberus regulations.

"Now we discussed act 1337 chapter 2003 part 3." A blue ball of light recited.

"Come on EDI, you almost recited all the rules in the book. It's already 9 hours here, and my pee bottle is already full." Joker begged.

"By ignoring this activity you will only add your list of offenses."

"Damn, EDI... Okay just tell me what the rules are about!"

"It's about fraternization."

"What? Who do I fraternize with? I'm always alone here, flying my ship!"

"You forgot about me, Joker."

"What? How the hell...That doesn't count!"

"It's the thought that counts."

"Why, you..." Joker protested.

"I see you're still working, Joker." A voice came from behind Joker's seat. Joker knew the voice. It was Commander Shepard.

"Do you see what your handiwork has done to me, Shepard?" Joker said it with an annoyed face.

"There is no rule of fraternization in Cerberus's rule book, Joker. EDI is just pulling your leg." The commander said.

"If she literally can do that, I will whack that disco ball with it!" A frustrated Joker replied.

"Help me here Commander! Please?"

"You know I could reinitiate the procedure." Shepard smiled.

"Ha ha ha, very funny Commander. But you wouldn't... Would you?" Joker started to worry.

"Of course not, the joke would get old if it was told twice."

"That mean you are preparing another procedure?" Joker asked in horror.

Shepard just ignored Joker's question with a smile. "EDI stop this procedure."

"The procedure has stopped." The AI responded to Shepard's request.

"Wait Commander! What do you mean with 'this procedure'?" Joker asked Shepard desperately.

The commander turned his back. Now He needed to do his daily tasks. As he walked through the corridor he found Kelly. She had a big smile on her face. With her curiosity she asked,

"Commander, this is the first time I've seen you smiled." Kelly asked curiously.

"Well you know who's to blame." Shepard replied rather sheepishly.

Kelly knew that her captain already found his peace. She was really happy for him. It's the same feeling when she helped people to find their love for a first time . A feeling that became a reason why she became psychiatrist. Then she remembered her tasked.

"Commander, you've received a new messages on your private terminal."

"Are you trying to pull a prank on me Kelly? I already read that messages." Shepard said it in amazement.


End file.
